(both images courtesy of Nordstrom, Spring 2010)
Oh how I wish this was me right now....standing there in some lucite-block heels, unwrapping a FABULOUS sculpture ... I'd be happy, my son would be happy with all that bubble wrap... we'd all be happy!
But alas, I've been up to my neck in work and while I do enjoy it, I really miss my time blogging and keeping up with my on-line buddies. I'm hesitant in thinking I'll ever take a blog-vacation because I perpetually say to myself "this weekend you are going to do nothing but relax and browse and read and catch-up.... on-line and off-line...." but alas....that hasn't transpired yet.
But pretty soon school starts for us-- actually, in exactly 39 hours, 43 minutes..... and I am looking forward to our entire familial unit being on a routine and back on schedule... homework, early bed-times, milk instead of soft-drinks... brothers who hug instead of bicker, mothers who blog instead of snicker.....
Okay, that sounded pretty darn good. Dr. Seuss might be kind of smiling down on me on that one.
So.... to follow the wisdom of George Costanza, I will leave on a high note.....
Until then my friends!
Meeting at George's office. His Boss, Mr. Kruger, is speaking.
Kruger: According to our latest quarterly thing, Kruger Industrial Smoothing is heading into the red. Or the black, or whatever the bad one is. Any thoughts?
George: Well, I know when I'm a little strapped, I sometimes drop off my rent check having forgotten to sign it. That could buy us some time.
Kruger: Works for me. Good thinking, George.
Co-worker 1: Alright, George.
Co-worker 2: Way to go man.
George: Or we don't even send the check and then when they call, we pretend we're the cleaning service. Heh heh. "Hello? I sorry, no here Kruger."
Kruger: Are you done? Silly voices, c'mon people, let's get real.
Co-worker 1: Good one.
Co-worker 2: That was bad.
New scene.
George and Jerry are at the coffee shop.
George: I had 'em, Jerry. They loved me.
Jerry: And then?
George: I lost them. I can usually come up with one good comment during a meeting but by the end it's buried under a pile of gaffs and bad puns.
Jerry: Showmanship, George. When you hit that high note, you say goodnight and walk off.
George: I can't just leave.
Jerry: That's the way they do it in Vegas.
George: You never played Vegas.
Jerry: I hear things.
George: I had 'em, Jerry. They loved me.
Jerry: And then?
George: I lost them. I can usually come up with one good comment during a meeting but by the end it's buried under a pile of gaffs and bad puns.
Jerry: Showmanship, George. When you hit that high note, you say goodnight and walk off.
George: I can't just leave.
Jerry: That's the way they do it in Vegas.
George: You never played Vegas.
Jerry: I hear things.
New scene.
Office meeting at Kruger Industrial Smoothing.
Kruger: ...And it gets worse. The team working on the statue in Lafayette Square kind of over-smoothed it. They ground the head down to about the size of a softball, and that spells trouble.
George: Alright, well why don't we smooth the head down to nothing, stick a pumpkin under its arm and change the nameplate to Ichabod Crane?
Everyone at the meeting breaks out in laughter.
George (getting up and leaving): Alright! That's it for me. Goodnight everybody.
Office meeting at Kruger Industrial Smoothing.
Kruger: ...And it gets worse. The team working on the statue in Lafayette Square kind of over-smoothed it. They ground the head down to about the size of a softball, and that spells trouble.
George: Alright, well why don't we smooth the head down to nothing, stick a pumpkin under its arm and change the nameplate to Ichabod Crane?
Everyone at the meeting breaks out in laughter.
George (getting up and leaving): Alright! That's it for me. Goodnight everybody.
New scene.
George and Jerry are at Jerry's apartment.
George: I knew I had hit my high note so I thanked the crowd and I was gone.
Jerry: What did you do the rest of the day?
George: I saw "Titanic". So that old woman, she's just a liar, right?
Jerry: And a bit of a tramp if you ask me.
George and Jerry are at Jerry's apartment.
George: I knew I had hit my high note so I thanked the crowd and I was gone.
Jerry: What did you do the rest of the day?
George: I saw "Titanic". So that old woman, she's just a liar, right?
Jerry: And a bit of a tramp if you ask me.
New scene.
Kruger's office. George enters, seeing nobody but Mr. Kruger.
George: Hey. Where is everyone?
Mr. Kruger: They're all off the project. They were boring. George, you are my main man.
George: I am?
Kruger's office. George enters, seeing nobody but Mr. Kruger.
George: Hey. Where is everyone?
Mr. Kruger: They're all off the project. They were boring. George, you are my main man.
George: I am?
Mr. Kruger: I don't know what it is, I can't put my finger on it, but lately you have just seemed 'on'. And you always leave me wanting more.
George: This is a huge project involving lots of numbers and papers and folders.
Mr. Kruger: Ah, I'm not too worried about it. Let's get started.
George: Okay.
Mr. Kruger: George? Check it out. (He begins to spin around in his chair) Three times around, no feet.
George: And?
Mr. Kruger: All me.
George: This is a huge project involving lots of numbers and papers and folders.
Mr. Kruger: Ah, I'm not too worried about it. Let's get started.
George: Okay.
Mr. Kruger: George? Check it out. (He begins to spin around in his chair) Three times around, no feet.
George: And?
Mr. Kruger: All me.
New Scene.
Jerry: Alright. So how's the two-man operation at Kruger?
George: Two-man? It's all me. Kruger doesn't do anything; Disappears for hours at a time, gives me fake excuses. This afternoon I found him with sleep creases on his face. The only reason I got out to get a bite today was that he finally promised to buckle down and do some actual work. (turning around, George sees Mr. Kruger at a booth eating a piece of cake) Oh, I don't believe this. This is what I have to put up with, Jerry. (He walks over) Mr. Kruger? Who said he was going to do some actual work today? Who?
Mr. Kruger: I'm not too worried about it.
George: Well I am. Couldn't you try to go through some of that stuff I put in your shoebox?
Mr. Kruger: Alright, alright I'm going.
George (to Jerry): Huh-ho! Have you ever seen anything like this?
Jerry: Never.
George: Two-man? It's all me. Kruger doesn't do anything; Disappears for hours at a time, gives me fake excuses. This afternoon I found him with sleep creases on his face. The only reason I got out to get a bite today was that he finally promised to buckle down and do some actual work. (turning around, George sees Mr. Kruger at a booth eating a piece of cake) Oh, I don't believe this. This is what I have to put up with, Jerry. (He walks over) Mr. Kruger? Who said he was going to do some actual work today? Who?
Mr. Kruger: I'm not too worried about it.
George: Well I am. Couldn't you try to go through some of that stuff I put in your shoebox?
Mr. Kruger: Alright, alright I'm going.
George (to Jerry): Huh-ho! Have you ever seen anything like this?
Jerry: Never.
New scene.
Mr. Kruger and George are burning the midnight oil. George is working, Mr. Kruger is bouncing a ball against the wall and catching it. George is percolating.
George: Would you mind helping me out with some of this stuff?!?
Mr. Kruger: You seem like you've got a pretty good handle on it.
George: No! I don't! Don't you even care? This is your company! It's your name on the outside of the building! Speaking of which, the 'R' fell off and all it says now is K-uger!
Mr. Kruger: K-uger, that sounds like one of those old-time car horns, huh? K-uger! K-uger!
George: Huh-ho! Oh! You are too much, Mr. Kruger! Too much!
Mr. Kruger (getting up to leave): Thank you George, you've been great. That's it for me.
George: Oh no, you're not going out on a high note with me Mr. Kruger!
Mr. Kruger: It's K-uger!
George: No! No!
Mr. Kruger: Goodnight everybody!
Mr. Kruger and George are burning the midnight oil. George is working, Mr. Kruger is bouncing a ball against the wall and catching it. George is percolating.
George: Would you mind helping me out with some of this stuff?!?
Mr. Kruger: You seem like you've got a pretty good handle on it.
George: No! I don't! Don't you even care? This is your company! It's your name on the outside of the building! Speaking of which, the 'R' fell off and all it says now is K-uger!
Mr. Kruger: K-uger, that sounds like one of those old-time car horns, huh? K-uger! K-uger!
George: Huh-ho! Oh! You are too much, Mr. Kruger! Too much!
Mr. Kruger (getting up to leave): Thank you George, you've been great. That's it for me.
George: Oh no, you're not going out on a high note with me Mr. Kruger!
Mr. Kruger: It's K-uger!
George: No! No!
Mr. Kruger: Goodnight everybody!
This post is dedicated to my dear friend Angie Case, whom without I would have no-one to call when I have a real-life Seinfeld moment, and NO ONE ELSE BUT HER can finish my Seinfeld quotes, flawlessly. "I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable."
Ange, YOU ROCK
Jerry: Well, maybe Kruger wasn't for you.
George: But they seem so disorganized....
